Rotations

I have been enjoying my rotation on the Orthopaedic Spine surgery service. And I will be transferring to knee and hip arthroplasty next week. I am going to try and take it as a compliment that I will be doing both in a 6 week span.

I find that surgeons don't scare me. I had an attending surgeon sign a med order and the response from someone was - "I don't think he has ever done that before."

Another spine surgery fellow got a few people in an uproar that he couldn't find us to write a special prescription for a patient that was leaving. The next time I saw him - I informed him that he could have called in that prescription and didn't need us - he gave some dorky smile and walked away.

The patients have been amazing though. Some of them remind me of my mom - others remind me of my self worth. I think to one patient I said off the cuff, "I am just the pharmacist." He sincerely and pointedly said - "Don't ever say that again. You aren't 'just anything.' We all have the same value - we may have different roles - but we all have the same worth." Upon discharge - he and I shared a special moment - and we both teared up a little - with the parting words being that we had both made a difference in each other's lives.

Some patients have the same hands as my mom - something that I am keen to - I look at their hands and nails and see my mom's - I never let them know what I am thinking.

Of course, I struggle with my self worth during the day - reminding myself that people don't inherently hate me when they first meet me - but child hood was rough - and certain things are etched in with acid.