Kori

I have many memories of Kori from our youth. It was back in a time when it was just me going over to see my Dad. My older brother and sister had ceased spending time there. With a five year difference, I was old enough to do the wrong things and she was young enough to think that what I was doing was cool - hence copying them - and me getting in trouble for setting a bad example. I think I learned what I had put my older sister through...

There is one memory that sticks out. Whether or not this is how it happened is debatable and yet this is how I remember it.

We were sitting in a boat with my father. He was attempting to teach us how to fish. I may have been 10, she might have been 5. He had explained to me what to do. I got my first nibble and instead of pulling up on the rod - I just starting reeling in - the excitement had me forget which steps to take first. I lost the fish. I may have handed the rod over to my Dad. But he I believe he said something like "Goddamnit - you have to pull up first!" I was deflated - started to tear and might have even sobbed silently. Kori comforted me. My dad was oblivious. For some reason that memory sticks with me. Maybe because it was one of those times when I realized that my dad maybe never wanted to be a dad in the first place - or that he wasn't the amalgamation I had concocted in my brain based on stories I had read as a child. I made him to be this idyllic character - something that drove my older sister crazy - but I didn't know any better.

Kori doesn't think she is very good at dealing with the emotional stuff - but she is - she has been instinctually doing it for most of her life.

I may look down on her in terms of years and height - but I look up to her in all other ways.

Despite any sort of familial shifts - I know that my siblings will always be there when I need them - even if I don't know how to ask.